Sep 3, 2012

The Truth about Blogging

I want y'all to like me. {And I have always, always, always wanted to say y'all. Everytime I type Y it wants to be followed be 'all. It just never came out until now. In my dreams I live in Texas and say it everyday.}

As a blogger, I want you all to like me. Obviously. Or else I wouldn't be putting myself out there on a blog...

I also want to be really, really, ridiculously good looking. Duh.

And witty. Oh, I want to be so witty.... I fantasise that I will read a comment which is all 'teehee, this the funniest blog post I have ever read! You are oh so witty"

I'm also needy and dependent on the number of comments and likes that I get.

I'm an expert at self-analysis which I purposely try to never do because it leads doowwwwnnn down down into the dark depths of insecurity. After I hit publish, I will probably read this up to ten times in the next 2 days, all "where did the wittiness go? I thought this was going to be funny and now it's just pathetic! No wonder it's not as popular as '____' blog! I will never be that good! I need to be better! I need more photos of myself looking like a supermodel! That is KEY"

I compare myself. Obviously.
I could blame this on being female, but I don't think that cuts it... I consciously compare myself. I read fashion blogs for ideas and immediately rate myself, not my clothes. Sometimes design blogs are the worst - I'm all 'when I get a studio I'm going to have a photo shoot in it and look that! And that morning I'm going to have a $300 salon experience and spraytan and get my nails and makeup professionally done too!"... $700 is worth having the world believe I'm a perfect human being.

I'm self-obsessed. Let's not try to pretend blogging is not self-absorbing at times... or all the time. After all, we're writing to the world about our lives... our ideas... our creative projects. All of which are what make us who we are. I could put it this way: to dislike my blog is to dislike ME.

I edit and re-edit and re-re-edit so many times that I wonder if my posts even sound like me. I'm so scared of being boring and putting too much of my own personality out there that I end up being a sickly sweet robot who is scared to say 'y'all'. I don't want to bore you... and also

...I'm scared of rejection. And a lot of things. Like dolls. Petrifiying. But that is another story...

I'm also scared of blogger-dates. I'm nervous just thinking about it. I would pee 3 times in the 10 minutes beforehand. What do you DO on a blog date?? Is it like "Hi! I read all about you on your blog! I like houses! ummmmm" {and yet I DO want to be real-life friends with some bloggers. They just have to travel 30 hours to New Zealand... No biggie.}

OK... why am I writing this?

Because I'm tired of all of the above. To compare myself and my talent and gifts to others, and determine that it's not good enough, is like a slap in the face to my Creator. My taste is not everyone's taste... my creativity is all my own. SO IS YOURS. Maybe I will post a room re-do and y'all (teehee) will hate it. But I'm ok with that. Why? Because this week I realised we are all immobilised until we decide to acknowledge our talents and be thankful for them, and then just use them. This is going to say like something off Barney but... we are special, special, everyone is special....

...and by 'sound like' I mean direct quote.

I want to be myself. I want to bust lines like "yousa LIAH" whenever I feel like (which is weirdly quite often...) and not be a slave to professionalism. {I'm not a professional yet.} I don't want to be scared to say I need more friends on Instagram. I do. Please befriend me. I'm tired of seeing the same photos everytime I check Instagram. Which is every 7 minutes right now.

I want to openly confess that I LOVE GRUNGY STREETWEAR and I can't help it. I don't dress pretty most days. In fact, I'm not even dressed right now....and I have dirty, dirty hair. It's Saturday and I plan to say this way until at least 4pm. ..Too much?

 What I'm saying is.... I hope you will find it refreshing to be here while there is an honesty revolution going on.

 Five Kinds of Happy will be a happier place.


Oh yeah, and this is my first and only post with no photos. Because I'm facing my fear. eeeeeeeeeeeeee


14 comments:

  1. That is the great thing about blogging--it is your corner of the internet and you can make it whatever you want. I think that we all want our blogs to portray the very best of us, but letting the imperfections shine through is what makes the reader connect. Some of my favorite posts are my Fail Whale entries. ;) I like your blog and your writing, Amy. If you write from the heart, people will read. :D

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  2. Haha I love this....I have to say I compared myself to you when I first discovered your blog...and I was hating that you quickly got up to over 100 followers and I am still so far away from that. Of course, I thought to myself "how is that she just started her blog and already had so many followers and I started a couple years ago?" So you see...people compare themselves to YOU too, so don't put yourself down too much. Love this post, it's everything I've thought about too. Love your blog. Xo

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  3. Amy, we all have insecurities! You are not alone! Thank you for being honest and open with us.

    Xoxo,

    Sam

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  4. Amy, you are not alone! We all have insecurities and struggle with approval issues. You are doing great, and are right where you need to be. Thanks for being so open and honest with us. :)

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  5. You totally need to just be yourself on your blog - post pictures you love, say what you think, not what you think people want to hear. It's the candid parts that people find most endearing - no one's perfect. One of my favourite blogs is "The Daybook", and my fav posts of Sydney's are her "Awesome & Awkward" posts (http://www.thedaybookblog.com/search/label/awkward%20and%20awesome). She talks about the cool stuff, and the cringe-worthy stuff in her life - they're priceless :) x

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  6. Totally LOVED this post. Homegirl best start being real or yous and everybody else is going to get real bored real quickly. I love that you were totally honest about comparing yourself because I think so many of us go through that exact mental process you described (or it's just you and me and we're totally screwed up while the rest of the population is perfect). Anyhow- BRAVO and whatnot. Be you. I love what I see.

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  7. I love this post too! And can relate SO much! And I laugh because I am so intimidated by the thought of a blogger meet-up! I guess I'm not alone!

    Blog posts are this weird combination of product and personal outlet and I think we're all still trying to figure out what exact role they're supposed to play. I think the internet has made it so much easier to compare ourselves to one another, which can be motivating and inspiring at times but is usually not a good thing, IMO. There's this great quote I found on Pinterest: "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we're comparing our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." But it's refreshing posts like these that create that feeling of "we're all in this together" and it inspires me to be way more open with my blog writing.

    Anyway, keep doing what you're doing and focus on what interests you and makes you happy and I think the rest will fall into place! And from a Texas girl, I think you pull off the y'all quite well! ;)

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  8. Go girl! :) I completely relate to this in SO MANY ways. Know that you're NOT alone. ever. It's great to know other bloggers who aren't afraid to express their insecurities. Thank you for being YOU! Love your blog. Wish we could have a blog date! <3 :) XO Christie

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  9. Awesome post!!! I would hate if everyone's blog were the same...be yourself doll, you are doing wonderful!

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  10. Love this, Amy :) You rock...and I love your honesty. Your Instagram photos are some of my FAVES! And..gotta say tow things: I'd love to have a blogger date with you & you're are super funny. I laughed many times at the witty things you stuck in :) hehe. All we can do is do "us"-- that's what blogging is about! :)

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  11. First off... lol! You are so funny, girl.

    Secondly, here's to being yourself. That can be hard to do in the blog world. There is a lot of pressure to impress, be the best, etc. etc., and with that it is so easy to lose who you are. I love your honest (and humorous) take on this.

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  12. Okay. So I read your post on Michaela's blog and loved it. And then I came over here and read this post and I LOVED IT even more! Girl, you just got yourself another follower! I can totally relate to this post- I am too obsessive over the amount of comments I get on each post, and it drives me crazy! I want to not care! And for the record, you are hysterical and oh-so-witty. I love ya already! :)

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  13. You are awesome. And I totally dream of living in Texas and saying 'y'all' too :) And I think you're hilarious. That dry, witty humour that only the best people understand. Love everything about this post! Now I'm off to go find you on instagram... xo

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  14. Amy! I just read your post and it was incredibly liberating to hear this come from someone else. I know we all struggle with it, but addressing it up front was helpful for yourself, I'm sure, but also for you readers, so thank you.

    I just wrote about this yesterday (http://fluffthatnest.blogspot.com/2012/09/can-we-be-honest-right-now.html) and know it was no accident that I came across this post. LOVE your blog and the realness of it. There is a connection with people that you can only achieve with this kind of honesty.

    Thanks again!

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Thanks for your comment. You are awesome!