I typically turn and run the other way whenever I see a bandwagon of any kind, and I think that was my initial response to Konmari once *everyone* started doing it thanks to the Netflix series. However, having used the Konmari method a few years back, I totally appreciate it's effectiveness compared to other styles of decluttering.
I'm going to launch into a mini-series of blog posts about the areas that we have worked through, but first I wanted to share a few tips and things we've learnt in this process. I can assure you that this whole thing has felt SO much more liberating than any other purge-sesh I've done before - and I've done many! I consider myself pretty organised but even so, physical clutter has a way of bringing anyone down in my opinion.
So what are the main takeaways I'd want to share for those wanting to declutter, perhaps with this method?
1. You both need to be on board.
I didn't realise that this was where my past decluttering attempts had failed. If your partner doesn't see the value in what you are doing it's unlikely to be sustainable as a lifestyle. I don't think Calum was remotely interested but I convinced him to watch half an episode of the Konmari show and to my delight, he was all "yes! Let's do it! Let's get rid of everything! Can we watch Vikings now?" But that was enough - I had his buy-in and he got where I was coming from when I talked about getting rid of X Y Z.
Don't be discouraged if your partner is not on board tho - you can still do HEAPS to improve your mental clarity and clear clutter at home.
2. Go big or go home
I actually found the Netflix series quite frustrating because some of the clients were not really invested and just wanted to keep all their weird trinkets and hoards, albeit in a more organised manner. Those people had a momentary gain from getting a professional organiser in their home... but that's where it would have ended. Organising your crap is not the same as getting rid of your crap. I've learnt along this process that you honestly need to aim to get rid of about 50% of each category if you want to REALLY feel the joy of living in a light, ordered, easy-to-clean home. Even if you were already "organised" like me. And trust me, the feeling is joyous!
Start by being ruthless with your wardrobe. The system is designed in this order because saying goodbye to clothes is easier than saying goodbye to your childhood artwork or whatever. But once you experince the buzz of truly getting rid of something you've been scared to let go of, the feeling actually becomes a bit of a rush. You don't need that stuff! It's freeing to realise you have the control to choose what things you actually need... your possessions should never own you.
3. Commit to the whole process
It's rough, but the Konmari process takes you through every single category of items you own, in a specific order. It can take a while. We are about 70% through after several months. I see people folding their clothes in a certain way and saying they have konmaried their home - it's a really good start, but folding is a tiny, tiny portion of the whole picture! My motivation to keep going is seeing how far we've come and how good it's been. I don't miss a single thing I've purged, in fact I can't even think what was in those boxes and boxes and boxes of items we said goodbye to.
4. Examine your true feelings - guilt?
This might sound a little strange, but when you are considering parting with a belonging, there are a series of "reasons to keep this" that run through your head, and hardly any of them are legitimate reasons but you have to be in a place to recognise what that undercurrent of your thoughts is! For example, when culling through my clothes, I was super ruthless. I then looked at my "to donate" pile and saw an item that had some sentimental memories for me. I reached for it and put it back onto my "keeping" pile. Immediately I had a sinking feeling, that I had had before but not paid any attention to. I put the item back on my donate pile and the sinking feeling disappeared. It sounds silly, but that was where I learned to distinguish between feeling obligated to keep something and actually wanting it. That gives me so much freedom to discard items. Guilt or obligation are not reasons to keep anything!
5. Thanking your stuff - why it works
One of the more woo-woo practices of the konmari method is thanking your belongings before you discard them. I've touched on this before but this principle is so simple - you acknowledge the positives about what you are doing, and it gets rid of that guilty feeling. We don't actually believe our clothing has a spirit (gasp) but the principle is good. E.G instead of "I looked so good in that dress that it makes me sad to part with it" you can say "I'm thankful for this dress and all the fun memories I had in it." or instead of "I'm gutted that I spent money on this bag that I never even wore. What a waste" you can say "I'm thankful that this bag taught me not to spend money on things in this style/colour/quality etc in the future".
6. When you're stuck, ask: do I want to bring this into the future with me?
Given that you start the Konmari process by visualising the kind of lifestyle you want to have, this is a good question to ask. It's a simple "does this fit with where I want to be headed?".
I also find it useful for distinguishing between past joy and future joy. A certain item might have given you so much joy in the past. Will it give you joy in the future or dampen your ideal lifestyle/goal?
7. Lastly, let this process guide your future purchases and decisions!
I've seen people criticising the method for getting people to donate all their junk or dump it in a landfill and then carry on with their consumerist lifestyle. I don't think you can complete this process and then carry on buying rubbish to fill up your home with. It really makes you re-think all your purchases. Nothing like looking at all the things you are getting rid of to make you not want another single thing coming through the door for a long time!
That's it for my decluttering intro post... you can read more about the exact steps of the Konmari method anywhere online, but these are some crucial points that have helped me.
We started purging our clothes and were able to condense 2 wardrobes into one immediately, freeing up our downstairs wardrobe. Then we moved onto books are literally almost emptied our bookcase, keeping only our favourites or ones we know we want to refer to. I didn't take many photos at that stage, but you can see this old post about my wardrobe from several years ago that also explains a little more of the theory behind konmari.
The next blog posts are going to move straight into how we purged our pantry (big time), stationary, and a few utilities. See you then :)
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