Every time I start to write something here I am overcome by nausea.
It turns out this blog is one of the victims of these last few months of constant illness.
Even looking at the logo and those annoyingly-off-centre tabs makes me need to vom.

To be fair, it's been a few months of misery. But I'm not here to talk about that...

I'm here to talk about Trust.

Amy MacLeod
{some of the things I'm meant to be working on}
Because I've been overwhelmed by the things I am supposed to accomplish before this coming Monday. Every morning I wake up with my impressive to-do list (open online shop, sew cushions, create powerpoint presentation, buy wallpaper, finalise room design and speech for the Interior Design event on Monday) and every day I am hunched over the toilet bowl faced with the daunting reality that I physically can't go anywhere.

And every day I end up back in bed, a shadow of myself, praying for a window of wellness where I can accomplish something.

And every day, the evening comes and I'm still a zombie - depleted, dehydrated, wondering with my husband whether we should get me checked into hospital to be put on a drip. Telling ourselves I'll be ok and we'll see if I'm better tomorrow?

Guess what? It's Friday here.
And my presentation - the one I've been in prep-mode for for months - is on Monday.

I really have no idea how I can physically be present at the event (vom on stage, anyone?) let alone get time to prepare ALL THE THINGS in these next TWO days. That is, months of work.

I'm not here to complain or garner sympathy... I'm here so that, next week, I can look back and see how God provided. So I can see how He made it work... somehow. Whether by enabling me to miraculously do it, or placing someone else into the gap. So I can see why He deserves my trust.
And so I can have a record of it, right here.

Isn't it lucky that my God is the God who says "My strength is made perfect in weakness"...?

Because I have never been so weak.


1 comment:

  1. Amy,
    I will be praying for you and know that it will work out. You have given it to God and He will take care of you. And if I weren't halfway around the world, I'd totally help you out :)
    Also know that you are doing the most amazing thing a human being can do. I promise you'll look back and know how worth it it was and this time, which seems neverending now, will seem so short when you look back. Again, I'll be praying for you!


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