More than I can chew (always)

Ahoy there!

I thought it was about time for a brief update on the gazillion (or 3) things that have been occupying my 'spare time'. In quote marks because define spare.
Meant to be loading dishwasher? Spare time.
Floors need vacuuming to the point that guests have started wearing their shoes inside to protect their socks? Spare time. 
Toilet that stinks even after cleaning and no-one knows how/why? Spare time.

Oh and just incase my future non-toddler-mum-self ever forgets this one point that is so obvious to me I assume everyone knows it: There are 1.5 hours in a day when this spare time phenomenon can happen. Maybe 2.5 if I'm lucky. I.E during toddler naptime, of course! You can't do things and have a toddler. At least, not my toddler. I sometimes see pictures of other one year olds sitting on beds or benches and I'm like, what? Yours just sits there? Sitting? Without launching herself onto the concrete floor or anything?
These toddlers be crazy.

1. Life has just got fun. Every month or week that passes I find myself thinking "This is the best stage so far!" but right now our 'baby' jusssst got old enough to sit with me in a cafe and drink her own fluffy out of an espresso cup. Basically everything I've been waiting for since I first found out I was pregnant. We also go to the zoo, the playground, 'gym' groups and walks on the beach and/or in hardware stores with her now. She can walk herself and it's weird and novel and amazing to not be carrying her or hauling a carseat or buggy around! Also she is obsessed with her gumboots and going wild in the great outdoors. You know - chasing dogs, eating shells, being throw 10 feet in the air...

[Just when I thought she couldn't get cooler.]

2. I get most of my energy from two things: 1) Being organised and controlling my physical environment by cleaning, styling etc, and 2) Being creative. Unfortunately the second one creates a truckload of MESS and I would show you a photo of our spare bedroom but it's hidden underneath piles and literal piles of fabric scraps. I recently borrowed my mum's sewing machine and rediscovered sewing..... I may never give it back. 
Among my far too many projects that I want to complete, is a quilt for my daughter. My mum made me a quilt when I was little and I just feel like it would be fun, and meaningful, and also would make her room a bit more pretty. 
Here are some of the fabrics I'm starting with - artfully piled on a grubby rug with some plastic, as you do...
{Remember when my blog was professional and pretty? har har har}

3. Is getting stressed and overwhelmed to the point of tears, followed by getting all 'on top of' everything and feeling like you've got it all sorted, followed by getting stressed and overwhelmed to the point of tears, a normal thing for mums? I feel like this cycle repeats itself every couple of weeks. 

4. I have like 50 house projects on my list and weirdly I feel in no rush to do any of them. New carpet? Too hard to decide which one. New kitchen? Yes but I need a billion bucks. New paint in bedrooms? Yes but can someone do it for me? Buy furniture and curtains that we need/want? Ok but I'll probably just end up with buyer's remorse a year later.
I think I'm realising that good things take time and also, our house is always going to be a 70s build. Those darn window pelmets are built in to the studs. I can repaint walls but without the furniture that I want, what's the point? Everything depends on something else being done first, and honestly, it all just sounds so exhausting right now.

5. Clean eating and exercise. I attempt them but so far no difference to my physique. I think I might have more energy but I also think that might be in my head.
Also, define clean.
Because zero flour, dairy, or sugars is just not sustainable! What happens when you go to someone's house? We are always eating at other people's houses. Bludgers that we are.

6. The simple life.
We've gone so far as to only watch any tv or movies on weekend evenings. And usually we have something else on so the result is that we only watch something every 2-3 weeks... it's good! 
I also started waking up at 6ish to get a shower, makeup, quiet time and quick chores done before Ella wakes up (gasp!). But then she started waking up early and I stopped. But I should start again. Because those sleepy first few minutes of being ALONE before the day begins are amazing and make me feel human. BLISS

7. Other types of bliss:
- Coffee in the morning when no-one else is around. It doesn't matter about the coffee - it's being able to drink something that always feels like a luxury for some reason, without interruption or having it grabbed at by a curious bub.
- Letting yourself get really freaking cold before hopping into a hot bath. Sitting naked on the bathroom floor getting really really freezing and goosebumpy on a winter's evening before finally getting into a steaming bath is stupidly good.  Oh - thank me later! I should write a book.
- Going to bed at 8pm and just sitting there with a book knowing you still have some time to do NOTHING before bedtime. 
- When you make something and it turns out awesome.
- When someone takes the baby for the day so you can do stuff. #husbandpoints
- When it's still dark when you get up, so you light a candle and keep the lights off (while you sip coffee and have quiet time). It feels like you are the only person awake in the world. 
- When Summer is slowly on it's way and there are now birds singing when you cook dinner.

8. Not bliss:
- Getting overwhelmed / overthinking / mess-induced-depression / negative thoughts / when you make something and it turns out horrid / fatigue / cooking and then cleaning and then cooking again and then not cleaning and then not cleaning and then DISASTER ZONE KITCHEN FOR DAYZ /  asking somebody to help and then feeling guilty about it / not giving baby full attention for 5 minutes so that you can get something else done and then feeling guilty about it / complaining about anything and then feeling guilty about it / sitting down to read or go on facebook and then feeling guilty about it.

9. I think that's it?

Thanks for bearing with me through the world's most pointless blog post ;)

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